OR
A New Tale of a Tub
ISBN: 979-8337660905
WELCOME TO RICHARD CRAVEN’S BRISTOL A TWISTED, SATIRICAL LANDSCAPE WHERE CHAOTIC MISADVENTURE IS MET WITH WIT, VENGEANCE, AND A TOUCH OF THE GROTESQUE.
In this the inaugural volume of Richard Craven’s Bristolian Chronicles, disreputable Bristolian gym manager Herod swears vengeance against the microbe colony infesting the spa hot tub and blamed for the genital gangrene which has unmanned him. In the pursuit of his vendetta, he recruits a gallery of corporate psychopaths, spiritual charlatans and raving homoeopaths. As a signifier of his quest he sports an outsize marital aid, the White Willy.
A darkly humorous, unflinching and characteristically Bristolian satire of societal degeneracy, Amoeba Dick recalls everything between Greek tragedy, Jacobean grand guignol and the Victorian novel, and promises to resurrect classical literary fiction for a contemporary audience.
| Object Name | Brief Description |
|---|---|
| 1st eternal cockwasher | 1st sacrifice to St Sebastian, Spartacist no.15, q.v. AD ch16 |
| 2nd eternal cockwasher | 2nd sacrifice to St Sebastian, Spartacist no.18, q.v. AD ch16 |
| 3rd eternal cockwasher | 3rd sacrifice to St Sebastian, Spartacist no.21, q.v. AD ch16 |
| Adrian | Catamite of Rogers Boyes |
| Aeromonas Annie | Enterologist |
| Anonymous Psorietist | Scabby gym-goer |
| Book | Kidult |
| Caliban, the yob | Caliban/Alph |
| Caliban/Alph the Unsacred | Bather in Charybdis |
| Cerberidae | Collective name for Billy & Peggy |
| Cerebellum Towers | University |
| Chard | Somerset dipsomaniac |
| Charybdis | Jacuzzi in P 'n' Q |
| Cheddar | Somerset dipsomaniac |
| Claude Boisselier | Attention-seeker |
| Clismathea | Handmaiden to Illingworth the colonist |
| Colloid | Petra Mountjoy's assistant |
| Costa | P 'n' Q Director of Compliance |
| Crass Cheseham | Proprietor of the Fascist Dictatorship of Stokes Croft |
| Dee Fwend | Kidult |
| Don Quicksotte | CEO of Idiot Left Energy |
| Elysium | P 'n' Q's clothing-optional spa |
| Enematopoeia | Handmaiden to Illingworth the colonist |
| Ertha Mather-Steiner | Earth mother |
| Evelyn Wagge | Appalling hipster |
| Face, the kidult | Infantile adult |
| Fruit & Nut Flake | Montpelier pub |
| Gilles de Pantalon Rouge | Manager of Quads & Pex Down Like Fuckin' Easton |
| Guy Pigge | Personal trainer at Pex 'n' Quads |
| Harrison Lupin | Predator |
| Hell | P'n' Q's changing rooms and weights room |
| Hermaphrodite | Bather in Charybdis |
| Herod | Manager of P 'n' Q |
| Hippus | Ageing yoga god |
| Hotwells | A floating world of houseboats and sun-bleached nudists, where Clismathea and Enematopoeia sunbathe in a haze of transcendental nonsense. |
| Ianeass the Gimp | Sacred chess loon |
| Idiotic Left Energy | Don Quicksotte's ill-conceived green enterprise, peddling unsellable windmills to Sir Hearty Luncheon and the city's bemused financiers. |
| Illingworth | Colonic irrigation therapist in Knowle |
| John Virgil (later “Haruspex”) | P 'n' Q Director of Marketing & Placemaking |
| Jupiter | Caliban/Alph |
| Lady Dragon | Lady who lunches |
| Lady Snatch | Lord Snatch's wife, poshtitute |
| Lord Snatch | Trust-funded squattocrat |
| Madame Lycra | Lady who lunches, yoga enthusiast |
| Marshall Petoman, the flatulist | Flatulent gym-goer |
| Meltynge | Somerset dipsomaniac |
| Mimi | Kidult |
| Mina Road | Home of the Lotophagi, a blissful community of the narcotised, forever lost in a lotus-induced reverie. Here is also the Mynah's Arms, which hosts the plebeian uprising against the Perroquet Regime in Pretty Poli. |
| Montypee | A designated yobbery, the haunt of drug-addled failsons of Clifton's people who attend all the right fish suppers. |
| Mr Luvvertory | Costa's assistant |
| Mr Vagus | Bankrupt who died in his workshop in the shadow of Horfield Gaol |
| Nero Cesare | P 'n' Q Director of Diversity |
| Peggy | Gym receptionist |
| Peter Astley | Bear to Timothy |
| Petra Mountjoy | P 'n' Q Director of Diversity Compliance |
| Pex ‘n’ Quads | Gym in Hotwells Road |
| Psorietes | Bather in Charybdis |
| Quads & Pex down like fuckin’ Easton | A bastion of hypermasculine piety, home to the House of Muscle, where Easton's steroidal sages dispense wisdom between sets. |
| Rodolfo Mather-Steiner | Earth father |
| Rogers Boyes | Bear to Adrian |
| Scrumpy | Somerset dipsomaniac |
| St Just | Lord Snatch's gofer |
| Stig O’Dump | Nero Cesare's assistant |
| Stokes Croft | A festering sink of anarchist utopianism, where reality bends under the weight of unwashed idealists and performance art. |
| The Old Disgrace | Pub at the bottom of Snandrews Road |
| The Phantom Crapper | Pex 'n' Quads staircase scatter |
| The White Willy | Huge white dildo |
| Timothy | Catamite of Peter Astley |
| Titus | AD Narrator |
| Wanksy | Edgy fake psychopath |
| Wookey | Somerset dipsomaniac |
| Wurzel | Somerset dipsomaniac |