Dive into Craven’s Lexicon
Welcome to a treasure trove of terms that only the most eccentric of minds could conjure. Whether you’re curious about the finer points of “gimperous” tendencies, the nuances of “gitisme,” or the sartorial elegance of “pammerin’” attire, this glossary is your indispensable guide to navigating the twisted corridors of Craven’s fictionalised Bristol.
()
Person partial to psychoactive substances. Smackhead. Knight errant questing to chase if perhaps not to slay the dragon.
‘Kinnell (n.) /kɪˈnɛl/
Fucking Hell. An epithet. Also used as an eponym referring to yobboes, thugs, churls and other common, coarse, base and vulgar ne’er-do-wells given to the utterance thereof.
‘Ksakes (n.) /ksæks/
Fucksakes. An epithet.
A fortiori (n.) /ɑː fɔː.tiˈɔːr.i/
Literally “from the stronger” [Latin]. The relation of inference obtaining between two sets of propositions A and B where A deductively implies B.
ABBA fan (n.) /ˈæb.ə fæn/
A gentleman with a preference for the society of other gentlemen. Abba fans congregate for this purpose in gites.
Ablative Gentrification (noun) /ˈæblətɪv ˌdʒɛntrɪfɪˈkeɪʃən/
The replacement of culture with property value, accompanied by the erasure of memory.
Aliter Assecurationem Subnervat (n. phrase) /əˈlaɪ.tər əˈsɛk.jʊ.rəˌtɪˈoʊ.nɛm ˌsʌbˈnɜr.væt/
“Otherwise the insurance is invalidated”. Notorious insurance industry Catch 22. Shallow pretext for management fleecing of gym members. [Latin]
Allgemeineszeitungstahlergänzung (n.) /ˌalɡəˈmaɪnəsˈtsaɪtʊŋstɑːlərˈɛɡzʊŋ/
German language steel trade bulletin.
Aporia (n.) /əˈpɔː.ri.ə/
Intellectual befuddlement generated by paradox. [Greek]
Argive (n.) /ˈɑː.dʒaɪv/
Greek, via metonymous etymological derivation from the Achaean city of Argos.
Armaround (n.) /ˈɑːrməˌraʊnd/
Manual relief performed by a top on a bottom during congress.
Ars sapientiaque viarum (n. phrase) /ɑrs sapˈiːɛn.tiˌækwe viˈaːrum/
The art and wisdom of the streets [Latin].
Ars scatologica (n. phrase) /ɑrs ˌskætəˈlɒdʒɪkə/
The scatological art, i.e. graffiti or tagging [Latin].
Banlieu (n.) /bɑːnˈljuː/
Suburb, with connotations of the slums. [French: ‘banlieue’].
Batiment (n.) /ˌbætɪˈmɑ̃/
Building [French].
Bear (n.) /bɛər/
Hirsute middle-aged or elderly pederast.
Beard (n.) /bɪərd/
A lady married to an Abba fan who chooses not to be forthcoming about his proclivities.
Beesom cushie (n.) /ˈbiːsəm ˈkʊʃi/
Female pigeon [Scots/Doric].
Bildungsroman (n.) /ˈbɪl.dʊŋs.roʊˌmɑːn/
Literary genre focussing on the protagonist’s moral development from childhood to maturity [German].
Biodynamic Trustafarian (n.) /ˌbaɪ.oʊ.daɪˈnæmɪk ˈsɪkəfænt/
A New Age adjunct to the Cause. Combines trustafarian aesthetics with boutique addiction. Tends to speak highly of Guatemalan shamans and Steiner schooling.
Blart (n.) /blɑːt/
Spend. Colloquial, with the implication of excess.
Boafervem (n.) /ˌbɔːfəˈvɛm/
Both of them. Estuarine contraction.
Bowffin (adj.) /ˈboʊfɪn/
Smelling strongly, with the intimation of unpleasantness [Scots/Doric].
Brown Windsor Soup (n. phrase) /braʊn ˈwɪnzər suːp/
Betimes a mousse, betimes a Wurst, ever the savour of the Copraphage.
Cancer stick (n. phrase) /ˈkæn.sər stɪk/
Cigarette.
Cauchemar (n.) /ˈkoʊʃ.mɑr/
Nightmare [French].
Chemin de fer (n. phrase) /ʃəˈmɛ̃ də fɛr/
Railway [French - literally, “iron road”].
Chimmical (adj.) /ˈtʃɪmɪkəl/
Chemical [vernacular].
China White (n. phrase) /ˈtʃaɪ.nə waɪt/
High quality heroin or fentanyl analogue.
Chlamydiathon (n.) /kləˈmɪd.i.ə.θɒn/
Marathon event of sustained sexual misadventure. Terminal phase marked by rash, remorse, and recitative.
Chocolate starfish (n.) /ˈtʃɒklət ˈstɑːrfɪʃ/
Bumhole.
Chthonic (adj.) /ˈθɒnɪk/
Pertaining to the Underworld. [Greek: χθόνιος: in/under the earth].
Clamjamfry (n.) /ˈklæmˌdʒæmfraɪ/
Mob or collection of worthless odds and ends [Scots/Doric].
Clarty (adj.) /ˈklɑːrti/
Dirty or muddy [Scots/Doric]
Comble (n.) /kɔ̃bl/
Crowd, with implications of overcrowding. See ‘foule’.
Combled (n.) /kɒmbld/
Crowded. By implication, over-crowded.
Confirmed bachelor (n. phrase) /kənˈfɜːmd ˈbætʃələr/
A poor thrower. The term, already belied by the existence of beards was fully vitiated by Lord Cameron’s legislation.
Coprasopher (n.) /ˈkɒp.rə.sɒf.ər/
Prophetical cove, who examines for auguries the spoor of beast and man.
Cottage (n.) /ˈkɒtɪdʒ/
An edifice, ordinarily a public gentlemen’s water closet, used by confirmed bachelors, friends of Dorothy, and poor throwers as a kennel.
Council of the Gods (n. phrase) /ˈkaʊn.səl əv ðə ɡɒdz/
The appointed trustees of Lord Snatch, including such luminaries as Sir Hearty Luncheon, Lord Handjob, and Sir Ezra Tertiary-Syphilis. Meets to discuss matters of legacy, hygiene, and insurance liability.
Digestionnaire (n.) /daɪˈdʒɛs.tʃəˌnɛr/
Coprophage, coprophile [French].
Dilution beyond Avogadro’s Constant (n. phrase) /daɪˈluː.ʃən biˈjɒnd ˌæv.əˈɡɑː.droʊz ˈkɒn.stənt/
The dilution of a mixture beyond the threshold at which a molecule of a given substance can reasonably be expected to be present.
Dogging (n.) /ˈdog.ɪŋ/
Engaging in sexual activity with strangers, typically outdoors.
Dogmuckery (noun) /ˈdɒɡˌmʌkəri/
A particularly egregious form of cant, usually pertaining to moralistic or theological discourse and accompanied by an odour of self-satisfaction.
Dubstep Dialectic (n. phrase) /ˈdʌb.stɛp ˌdaɪəˈlɛktɪk/
A philosophical standoff conducted at 150bpm. Features in Sleaze’s retreat, where tantric instruction and preposterous jargon collide with screaming synth lines.
Dubstep Serenade (n. phrase) /ˈdʌb.stɛp ˌsɛr.əˈneɪd/
A failed erotic overture delivered by Onanisticles the scagsmith via mobile phone speaker during the late stage of an orgy. Features industrial shrieks, digital shrillness, and a mass failure of the vinegar stroke.
Duma (n.) /ˈduːmə/
Parliament, council, legislative body [Russian].
E la peste de Cipriano (n. phrase) /eɪ lə pɛste də sɪp.riˈɑː.nəʊ/
It is the plague of Cyprian. [Italian]
Eau de robinet (n. phrase) /oʊ də ˈroʊ.bɪ.neɪ/
Tap water. [French]
Eggmoney (n.) /ˈɛɡˌmʌni/
Hegemony [local vernacular].
Eglise de la Bouteille (n. phrase) /eɪˈɡliːz də la buːˈteɪjeɪ/
Church of the Bottle [French]. The street drinking fraternity.
Enflèchement (n.) /ɑ̃.flɛʃ.mɑ̃/
Piercing with arrows. [French]
Enterologistan (n.) /ˌɛn.tə.rɒl.əˈdʒɪs.tæn/
The conceptual space pertaining to digestive medicine.
Epoché (n.) /ɛˈpɒk.e/
The suspension of judgement, a concept in Hellenistic philosophy, especially among sceptics e.g. Sextus Empiricus. [French]
Equus Tranquillus (n. phrase) /ˈɛk.wəs træŋˈkwɪl.əs/
“Tranquil Horse.” Latinised euphemism for ketamine, used by Mr Luvvertory. Sold from an ambulance and celebrated for its metaphysical effects, including a belief in one’s transformation into spaghetti.
Escalier (n.) /ˌɛˈskælieɪ/
Staircase [French].
Esprit d’escalier (n. phrase) /ɛsˌpriː dɛs.kæl.jeɪ/
Spirit of the staircase. Conceiving a witty riposte when its moment has passed. Alternatively, in the context of the Phantom Crapper subplot in Amoeba Dick, being overcome by the urge to defecate on the staircase. [French]
Eukaryote (n.) /juːˈkæ.ri.əʊt/
Unicellular organism containing a distinct membrane-bound nucleus.
Failson (n.) /ˈfeɪl.sən/
Male resident of Montpelier, so-called because he is typically the wastrell scion of one or more of the bourgeois triumpalist families predominant in Clifton.
Fattitude (n.) /ˈfæt.ɪ.tjuːd/
The forthright, not to say confrontational, not to say obnoxious demeanour of the fat acceptance fraternity or sorority.
Felching (n.) /ˈfɛltʃɪŋ/
Oral ingestion of small motile gamete from faecal drain following Congress.
Fenetral (adj.) /fəˈnɛtrəl/
Pertaining to windows [French].
Fentanyl Evangelism (n. phrase) /ˈfɛntənɪl ɪˈvændʒəˌlɪzəm/
Devotional fervour applied to the pursuit of synthetic opioids. Characteristic of Lady Snatch’s desperation. Contains no doctrine, only dosage.
Filthocracy (n.) /fɪlˈθɒk.rə.si/
Government by the perverse and flatulent. The Senseless Counterfeit posits this as the dominant regime of contemporary Bristol.
Flâneur (n.) /flæˈnɜr/
Idle pavement stroller or loafer [French].
Flatulentia obstetrix incontinentiae (n. phrase) /ˌflætʃ.əˈlɛn.ti.ə ɒb.steɪˈtrɪks ɪnˌkɒn.tɪ.nɛn.tɪˈiː/
Flatulence is incontinence’s midwife [Latin].
Fonctionnaire (n.) /ˌfɒŋk.sjɒˈnɛər/
Manager. Bureaucrat. [French]
Foule (n.) /fuːl/
Crowd, with implications of overcrowding. See ‘comble’.
Fournier’s Gangrene (n. phrase) /ˈfʊr.ni.eɪz ˈɡæŋ.ɡriːn/
Gangrene affecting the genitals, a notorious victim whereof being Herod the manager of Pex ‘n’ Quads gym in Hotwells, q.v. Amoeba Dick.
Franchement, je te trouve vachement chiant (n. phrase) /frɑːnʃ.mɑ̃ ʒə tə tʁuv vaʃə.mɑ̃ ʃjɑ̃/
To be honest, you’re really pissing me off [French].
Friend of Dorothy (n. phrase) /ˈfrɛnd əv ˈdɒr.ə.θi/
Male homosexual. Alludes to the affection of members of the poor throwing community for The Wizard of Oz, and in particular for its protagonist Dorothy Gale, played by Judy Garland.
Ganymedic Overinvestment (noun) /ˌɡænɪˈmɛdɪk ˌəʊvərɪnˈvɛstmənt/
The act of placing disproportionate emotional or intellectual value on youthful beauty or ephebic charm. Usually ends badly.
Gear (n.) /ɡɪər/
Narcotics.
Geçmiş Olsun (n. phrase) /ɡɛtʃ.miʃ ˈɔl.suːn/
May it pass quickly. Turkish valedictory.
Gimp of the Apocalypse (n. phrase) /ɡɪmp əv ði əˈpɒk.ə.lɪps/
Unverified but on-brand term for the latex-clad harbingers of civilisational decline.
Gimperous (adj.) /ˈɡɪmpərəs/
Of or pertaining to gimpery, rubber/neoprene fetishism. Occasionally a pejorative adjective describing cyclists who wear lycra.
Gitisme (n.) /ɡɪtˈɪzəm/
This is what the Frenchies call good old honest Anglo-Saxon cottaging.
Gospodin (n.) /ˈɡɒs.pədɪn/
Russian and South Slavic honorific.
Graffer (n.) /ˈɡræfər/
Graffiti artist. Person partial to palimpsesm
Hagranilozites (n.) /ˌhæɡrəˌnɪləˈzɪts/
Agranulocytosis [vernacular]. Acute lowered white blood cell count, leading to neutropenia. Sufferers are at risk of serious infection owing to the immune system compromise associated with this condition. Typically associated with the abuse of adulterated cocaine.
Hanarchit (n.) /ˈhænərkɪt/
Anarchist [vernacular].
Hellevant’s Voot (n. phrase) /ˈhɛl.ə.vənts vuːt/
An umbrella stand of ambiguous function—urinal, reliquary, altar. Beloved of libertines and misusers of interior décor.
Higgerance (n.) /ˈhɪɡərəns/
Ignorance [vernacular].
Hombonpoint (n.) /ˈhɒmbɒnˌpwæ̃/
Embonpoint [vernacular]. The female bust (at least in the normal course of things).
Hornotholojit (n.) /ˌhɔrnəˈθɒlədʒɪt/
Ornithologist [vernacular].
House of Snatch (n. phrase) /haʊs əv snætʃ/
The Montpelier … er … squat also known as …er… Squattocrat Heights. Notable for its decaying grandeur, ritual orgies, and unpaying suitors. Occupied by Lord and Lady Snatch, until neither are.
Ille Salvator et dui latrones (n. phrase) /ˈɪl.lɛ sælˈveɪ.tɔːr ɛt djuː læˈtrəʊniːz/
The Saviour and two thieves. [Latin]
In foro publico (n. phrase) /ɪn ˌfɔː.rəʊ ˈpʊb.lɪˌkoʊ/
In the public forum. Publicly. [Latin]
Jacquerie (n.) /ˈdʒæk.wə.riː/
Peasants revolt in 1358, centred on the Oise Valley North of Paris.
Jacuzzi Culture (n. phrase) /dʒəˈkuː.zi ˈkʌl.tʃər/
The subterranean etiquette governing bodily display, passive-aggressive politics, and erotic self-dissolution in communal spa areas. Particularly manifest at Pex 'n Quads, Quads & Pex down like fuckin’ Easton and Sleaze’s tantric retreats.
Jafakan (n.) /ˈdʒæ.fə.kən/
Cod patois spoken by middle class White kids, q.v. wigger below
Jakes (n.) /dʒeɪks/
Ladies’ or gentlemen’s water closet [late medieval vernacular].
Jouissance suivant un coup de main (n. phrase) /ʒwi.sɑ̃s sɥi.vɑ̃ œ̃ ku də mɛ̃/
Post-masturbatory orgasm [French].
Kennel (n.) /ˈkɛnəl/
A resort where gentlemen and occasionally ladies of the dogging (q.v.) fraternity and occasionally sorority consort for their hobbies of felching (q.v.), armaround (q.v.) and gimpery. Commonly wooded areas, public toilets, and motorway lay-bys.
Ket-legs (n. phrase) /kɛt-lɛɡz/
Ketamine-induced unsteadiness on one’s legs.
Kettle logic (n.) /ˈkɛt.lə.lɒ.dʒɪk/
A style of argument comprised of contradictory, redundant, or mutually annihilating claims, all delivered with Marxist certainty. Embodied by St Just, though not so called.
Khazi (n.) /ˈkɑː.zi/
Toilet.
Klismatics (n.) /klɪzˈmætɪks/
Pertaining to the study or administration of enema [from the Greek].
Kunstwerk (n.) /ˈkʊnst.vɛrk/
Artwork [German].
Kλύσμα θεά (n. phrase) /ˈklysmə θiˈeɪ/
Enema goddess.
L’enfer, c’est les autres oiseaux (n. phrase) /lɑ̃.fɛʁ sɛ lɛz oˈtʁə wazo/
Hell is other birds. [French, paraphrasing a notorious line from J.P. Sartre’s Huis Clos].
Lacunae (n.) /ləˈkjuː.niː/
Gaps. [Latin]
Landreaughver (n.) /ˈlænd.roʊ.vər/
Landrover.
Laudanum (n.) /ˈlɔːdənəm/
Tincture of opium. A term adapted metonymously by Lord Snatch and his ilk to denote heroin.
Lavatorial Epic (n. phrase) /ˌlævəˈtɔː.ri.əl ˈɛpɪk/
A muck-genre term describing Odour Issues as a whole. Marries heroic structure with scatological content, parodic diction, and faecal mess-en-scène.
Lèse majesté (n. phrase) /ˈleɪz mædʒɛsˈteɪ/
Offence against the dignity of a monarch or high official [French].
Lux rationis (n. phrase) /lʌks ˈræʃ.ən.ɪs/
Light of reason [Latin].
Manus destris (n. phrase) /ˈmeɪ.nʊs ˈdɛs.trɪs/
Right hand. [Latin]
Meltemi (n.) /ˈmɛl.tə.miː/
Strong, dry wind afflicting Greek summer.
Membrum virile (n. phrase) /ˈmɛmbrəm vɪˈraɪli/
A gentleman’s Honourable Member [Latin]. Todger. Willy. Thing. Einäugigenhosenschlange, as our Teutonic friends would not put it.
Mésalliance (n.) /ˌmeɪ.zəˈlɑːns/
Unstable alliance of non-converging interests [French].
Minchia che segoiolo (n. phrase) /ˈmɪn.kiː.ə kɛ ˈsɛ.dʒoʊ.iː.loʊ/
Christ what a wanker. [Italian]
Montypee (n.) /ˈmɒn.taɪ.piː/
Montpelier. Louche Bristolian suburb populated by Cliftonian failsons. Designated yobbery.
Moriscos (n.) /mɒˈrɪs.kɒs/
Andalusian Moors populating Iberia following its conquest by the Ummayad Caliphate in the early 8th century.
Mouton noir (n. phrase) /muːtɔ̃ nwɑr/
Black sheep [French]. Schwartze Schaffe is the Bosch term.
Munter (n.) /ˈmʌn.tər/
Idiot.
N’importe quoiqu’elle s’appelle (n. phrase) /nɛ̃.pɔʁt kɔkɛl sa.pɛl/
No matter how she styles herself [French].
Neep-heid (n.) /nip-hid/
Turnip-head. Disparaging term [Scots/Doric].
Neurotic Historicism (noun) /njʊˈrɒtɪk hɪˈstɒrɪsɪzəm/
An anxiety-ridden obsession with historical cycles, in which each present moment is misread as echo or retribution.
Nilists (n.) /ˈnaɪlɪsts/
Nihilists [vernacular]. In the context of sociopolitical ethics, persons without goals save for the destruction of all human institutions, whether concrete or abstract.
Obol (n.) /ˈɒb.əʊl/
Coin placed on the eyes of departed souls in order to pay Charon to row them across the Styx to Hades.
Omphalos (n.) /ˈɒmfəlɒs/
Navel, belly button. Metaphorical heart or centre [Greek].
Orgone of the Suitors (n. phrase) /ˈɔː.ɡəʊn əv ðə ˈsuː.təz/
Post-coital field of ejaculate blanketing the mattresses of … er … Squattocrat Heights.
Pammerin’ (adj.) /ˈpæmərɪn/
Shabbily dressed, staggering [Scots/Doric].
Peely-Wallyism (noun) /ˈpiːli ˈwæli.ɪzəm/
The condition of being perennially insipid, pallid, or emotionally incontinent, especially in artistic expression. [Scots/Vernacular].
Perfidious Tremblement (n. phrase) /pəˈfɪd.i.əs ˈtrɛm.blə.mɒ̃/
Euphemism for cowardly orgasm or belated moral panic. Often experienced mid-soliloquy by minor characters.
Pewlies (n.) /ˈpjuːliz/
Seagulls [Scots/Doric].
Pharmacy (n.) /ˈfɑː.mə.si/
Premises specialising in the retail of substances prohibited under the Misuse of Drugs Act 1971.
Pikey (n.) /ˈpaɪ.ki/
Gypsy. Pejorative.
Pompinaro (n.) /ˌpɒm.pɪˈnɑː.roʊ/
Cocksucker [Italian].
Pont des soupirs (n. phrase) /pɒnt deɪ suːˈpiərz/
Bridge of sighs [French].
Porca Madonna (n. phrase) /ˈpɔːr.kə məˈdɒn.nə/
Pig Madonna. Obscene Italian epithet.
Porch of Shame (n. phrase) /pɔːtʃ əv ʃeɪm/
Architectural feature used for moral exposition and dramatic ejection. Commonly found outside …er… squat theatres and within third acts.
Porlock (n. prop.) /ˈpɔː.lɒk/
Referential figuration of the interruption of poetic vision. The narrator likens his desecration of a Travelodge in Leigh Delamere to Coleridge’s dream-ruining visitor. Foam unto foam.
Post hoc ergo propter hoc (n. phrase) /ˌpəʊst ˈhɒk ˈɜː.ɡəʊ ˈprɒp.tər ˈhɒk/
After this therefore because of this [Latin]. Informal logical fallacy inferring causation from correlation.
Priapic Epiphany (noun) /praɪˈæpɪk ɪˈpɪfəni/
A sudden and usually unearned insight accompanied by or resulting in unwarranted sexual confidence.
Protist (n.) /ˈprəʊ.tɪst/
Eukaryotic organism that is not an animal, land plant or fungus.
Psittacine Lacuna (noun) /ˈsɪtəsaɪn ləˈkjuːnə/
A gap or omission in parrot-related history, discourse, or memory; a species of avian forgetfulness.
Quod veriter dubitandum sit (n. phrase) /kwɒd ˈvɛ.rɪ.tɜː ˌduː.bɪˈtæn.dʊm sɪt/
Which is truly to be doubted [Latin]. Expression of scepticism.
Rắn Hổ Mang Máu (n. phrase) /răn hɔ məŋ maʊ/
Cobra blood [Vietnamese]. A delicacy to which the oenophiles congregating at the Toreau et Ours are partial.
Rudeness as Praxis (n. phrase) /ˈruːd.nəs æz ˈpræksɪs/
The ideological commitment to public fornication, expletive-laden dialectic, and casual filth as revolutionary acts. Not stated in these terms, but epitomised by St Just and his comrades-in-praxis.
Scagmeistery (n.) /ˈskæɡ.maɪst.ər.i/
Drugging, and the lifestyle associated therewith.
Scagsmith (n.) /ˈskæɡ.smɪθ/
A title borne by purveyors of heroin, ketamine, and poetic delusion. Most famously applied to Onanisticles of the ilk, whose afflictions are as metaphorical as they are dermatological.
Schadenfreude (n.) /ˈʃɑː.dən.frɔɪ.də/
Shame-joy [German]. The sociopathological deriving of happiness from the others’ misfortunes.
Schwartze Schaffe (n. phrase) /ʃvɑrtsɛ ˈʃæfə/
Black sheep [German]. See also mouton noir.
Scirocco (n.) /sɪˈrɒkoʊ/
Strong dry Mediterranean wind originating in the Sahara, often reaching hurricane force.
Scunnered (adj.) /ˈskʌn.ərd/
Bored, enervated, with intimations of overwhelming [Scots/Doric].
Shanked (n.) /ʃæŋkt/
Stabbed.
Sine qua non (n. phrase) /ˌsaɪ.niː kwɑː ˈnɒn/
Without which not [Latin]. Indispensable.
Slip x a length (n. phrase) /slɪp eks eɪ leŋθ/
Engage in sexual intercourse with x.
Snatchiad (n.) /ˈsnætʃ.i.æd/
Title of Part 3 of Odour Issues, styled as a mock-epic in the tradition of Homer and Virgil.
Sophronistae (n.) /ˌsɒfrəˈnɪsti/
Instructors of youth. Groomers. Paedogogues [Greek].
Spakür Ohne Grenzen (n. phrase) /ˌʃpɑː.kʊər ˈoʊ.nə ˈɡrɛnt.sən/
Spa Cures Without Frontiers [German]. Disaster relief agency.
Stubbly Delilah (n. phrase) /ˈstʌb.li dɪˈlaɪ.lə/
Bearded seductress of ambiguous gender and unmatched treachery. Associated with betrayal, falsified testimonials, and coconut oil.
Sudra (n.) /ˈsuː.drə/
White shirt tied with a cord, sacred to Zoroastrians.
Sundarbang (n.) /ˈsʌn.dɑː.bæŋ/
The Sundarbans, mangrove swamp in the Bay of Bengal, located in the delta formed by the confluence of the Ganges, Brahmaputra and Meghna rivers.
Swailed (adj.) /sweɪld/
Swallowed [Scots/Doric].
Swinking (n.) /ˈswɪŋ.kɪŋ/
Toiling, labouring [from the Anglo-Saxon].
Tachycardia (n.) /ˌtæk.ɪˈkɑː.di.ə/
Accelerated heartbeat.
Talcum of Medellin (n. phrase) /ˈtælkəm əv ˈmɛdəˌliːn/
Cocaine hydrochloride, a stimulant.
Tantric Fiddling (n. phrase) /ˈtæn.trɪk ˈfɪd.lɪŋ/
Euphemism for business practices and preferred foreplay of 'therapists' eg Sleaze, Mr Luvvertory and Mince. Claims to open chakras; in practice, clogs plumbing. Typically performed beside a gimp.
The Bibulous Oath (n. phrase) /ˈbɪb.jʊ.ləs əʊθ/
Sworn in wine, broken in cider. Binding only until the onset of vomiting. Frequently invoked by the dramatis personae.
The Cause (n. phrase) /ðə kɔːz/
An abstraction invoked by St Just to justify revolutionary rhetoric, retail theft, and polyphonic rutting. Contributions to the Cause are expected in the form of fentanyl, ejaculate, or ideology.
The Senseless Counterfeit (n.) /ˈkaʊn.tə.fɪt/
The eponymous marital aid. A fake within a fake. Might refer to the text, the self, or the entire performance of postmodern identity.
Therapeutic treatment centre (n. phrase) /ˌθɛr.əˈpjuː.tɪk ˈtriːt.mənt ˈsɛn.tər/
Bordello.
Toilet trading (n. phrase) /ˈtɔɪ.lɪt ˈtreɪ.dɪŋ/
Lavatorial variant of dogging [q.v.], predominantly a pastime of Abba fans.
Tricoteuse (n.) /ˈtrɪk.ə.təz/
Knitting woman [French]. Female voyeur at an execution.
Trinity (n.) /ˈtrɪnɪti/
Police station since demolished, just behind Old Market.
Triste dictu (n. phrase) /trɪste dɪktu/
Sad to relate [Latin].
Trotskers (n.) /ˈtrɒtskərz/
Trotskyites [vernacular]. Proponents, originating with the Left Opposition and the Fourth International, of decentralised economic planning, voluntary collectivisation, artistic autonomy, and permanent revolution; in which respects Trotskyism is contrasted with the dirigisme and socialism-in-one-country policies of the Stalinists.
Trottoir (n.) /ˌtroʊˈtwɑr/
Pavement [French].
Twink (n.) /twɪŋk/
Catamite; Ganymede; the barely legal complement of a bear.
Umbrella Stand of Despair (n. phrase) /ʌmˈbrɛl.ə stænd əv dɪˈspɛər/
A vessel for bodily fluids, discarded latex, or editorial metaphor. See also Hellevant's Voot.
Ursi majores (n. phrase) /ˈɜː.si məˈjɔːr.iːz/
Greater bears. Variously, stellar bodies or pederasts [q.v. bear above].
Vim virtus (n. phrase) /vɪm ˈvɜːr.təs/
Manly spirit [Latin].
Voca necessitatis (n. phrase) /ˈvəʊ.kə nɛ.sɛs.ɪˈtæt.ɪs/
Nature’s call [Latin]. The need to visit the lavatory.
Volk bissen had genug (n. phrase) /fɔlk ˈbɪsən hæd ɡəˈnuːɡ/
People have had enough [German/vernacular].
Vulgar Marxism (noun) /ˈvʌlɡər ˈmɑːksɪz(ə)m/
A crude interpretation of Marxist theory that prioritises economic determinism to the exclusion of all else. See also: "histomat" (historical materialism).
Vulpes atque lupes (n. phrase) /ˈvʊl.piːz æt.kweɪ ˈluː.piːz/
Foxes and wolves [Latin].
Wanksturbation (n.) /ˈwæŋkˌstərˌbeɪʃən/
The autonomous obtaining of manual relief.
Weihnachtsgeist (n.) /ˈvaɪnaxtsˌɡaɪst/
The ghost of Christmas [German].
Wigger (n.) /ˈwɪɡ.ər/
White nigger. Middle class White youth affecting Jafakan [q.v. above].
Wohnung (n.) /ˈvoʊnʊŋ/
Living quarters, habitation [German].
Wormhole (n.) /ˈwɜːm.həʊl/
Catatonic state induced by ketamine. Users believe themselves to be worms, linguine, or spiritual filaments. Often accompanied by a gnostic urge to swim in urinals.
Xrafstar (n.) /ˈkræf.stɑː/
Unclean or impure creatures [from the Persian].
Zebubian Ethics (noun) /zɛˈbjuːbiən ˈɛθɪks/
A code of moral behaviour espoused by minor demons; a satanic variation on consequentialism.
Ὄλισβος! (n. phrase) /ˈɒl.ɪz.bɒs/
Literally, “unstoppable”. But has come to mean, by etymological processes obscure to the present chronicler, “dildo”.
Παλιοθήλυκο (n.) /ˈpæl.i.ɒˌθiː.lɪˌkəʊ/
Slut.
Περσεφόνη (n.) /pərˈsɛf.əˌniː/
Persephone. In Greek mythology, daughter of Demeter and Zeus. Her annual abduction/manumission by Hades heralds the onset of Winter/Spring.
Σκύλα (n.) /ˈskʌɪ.lə/
Scylla, bitch.