Characters

• 1st eternal cockwasher
• 2nd eternal cockwasher
• 3rd eternal cockwasher
• A passing ornithologist
• Adrian
• Aeromonas Annie
• Agape Wydon
• Alderman Oldphart
• Anonymous Psorietist
• Anus Manor Hotel
• Arabella Melopsittica
• Bar Wanque
• Beggarswell Close
• Billy
• Biting dogue kennels
• Black Racist Centre
• Book
• Boutique hotel
• Boyde
• Bridewell sty
• Bristol Coroner’s Court
• Caius & Tiberius Craquus
• Caliban, the yob
• Caliban/Alph the Unsacred
• Cerberidae
• Cerebellum Towers
• Chard
• Charybdis
• Cheddar
• City Hall
• Claude Boisselier
• Clismathea
• Club Autonomie
• Colloid
• Constable Wifebeating-Cokehead
• Costa
• Crapstore
• Crass Cheseham
• Dee Fwend
• Dogging Woods
• Don Quicksotte
• Don Quicksotte
• Dr Mark Wankstain
• Elysium
• Enematopoeia
• Ertha Mather-Steiner
• Evelyn Wagge
• Face, the kidult
• Fascist Dictatorship of Stokes Croft
• Francis MacMahon’s lock-up
• Fruit & Nut Flake
• Gilles de Pantalon Rouge
• Guy Pigge
• Handjob Luncheon
• Harrison Lupin
• Hawksmoor Perroquet
• Hell
• Hermaphrodite
• Herod
• Hieronymous
• Hippus
• Ian Corby
• Ianeass the Gimp
• Illingworth
• Infirmary Nurse
• John Virgil (later “Haruspex”)
• Jupiter
• Lady Dragon
• Lady Snatch
• Little Mogadishu
• Lord Handjob
• Lord Snatch
• Madame Lycra
• Magistrates Court
• Marshall Petoman, the flatulist
• Medusa the gorgon
• Meltynge
• Messrs Justices Shallow & Silent
• Mimi
• Minerva Ledwitch
• Miss Isolde Acridotheres
• Mr Francis MacMahon
• Mr Jagtar Singh
• Mr Luvvertory
• Mr Vagus
• Ms. Gamina Dročerpyatova
• Nero Cesare
• Peggy
• Penistone House
• Perky Pets
• Peter Astley
• Petra Mountjoy
• Pex ‘n’ Quads
• Psorietes
• Rodolfo Mather-Steiner
• Rogers Boyes
• Scrumpy
• Siddhartha Yoga
• Sir Ezra Tertiary-Syphilis
• Sir Hearty Luncheon
• Slickrobbers
• Snandrews
• Snandrews Road
• Solomon
• Squattocrat Towers
• St Just
• St Werbuggers
• Stig O’Dump
• Strapon
• Superintendent “Gloucester” Oldspot
• The Bearpit
• The BRI
• The Craquepipe & Slappers
• The Ghastly Hipster Opposite Turbo Island
• The Katze und Rad
• The Masonic Gite
• The Mayoral Residence
• The Mynah Arms
• The Old Council House
• The Old Disgrace
• The Phantom Crapper
• The Shouty Cunt
• The Spitting Chav
• The White Willy
• Timothy
• Titus
• Turbo Island
• Wanksy
• Wookey
• Wurzel